Herbs and Essential Oils for Love

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Happy Valentine’s weekend! If you are snowed in and worried about not having a gift yet, my post about making your gifts might come in handy. Love is a full time preoccupation though so this information is hopefully for the long-term, not just on special occasions. This won’t be a NSFW post btw, it’s more of a look at how health affects our love life, especially our mental/emotional health, and what we can do to help ourselves be healthier. I was thinking along these lines for two reasons, the first being that I wanted to recommend an herb to someone who is still a teenager and I knew that particular herb was also recommended for adult men for sexual health, so I had to do a bit of research to see if it would be a problem. (I’ll give more info about that herb in a moment.) The second reason is because I’m starting to do some marketing around my book about essential oil perfumes and the topic of which essential oils are aphrodisiacs often comes up, especially this time of year. (More on that below as well.)

When it comes to herbs, although there are some recommended for aiding sexual pleasure, such as damiana (more specific to women but either gender can get benefits) and Horny Goat Weed, subtle name, I know, this one is more specific to men but again, both genders can benefit from it. The herbs that are going to provide more long-term sexual health are the ones that are going to work deeply on our stress response, anxiety, and hormones. Which herbs do that? The class of herbs that are adaptogens are the ones that will have the most long-lasting health giving affects in terms of sexual health and I’d argue, even love. Adaptogens, such as ashwagandha, eulthero, and rhodiola work on our endocrine system which houses our organs which make and transport hormones. Hormones are involved with our entire body and are responsible for our stress responses. Most people have heard of cortisol, which is the fight or flight stress hormone that is activated more than ever in our modern world, and most have heard of ‘adrenal fatigue’ from too much stress responders firing at all times. Stress plays a huge role in not only our health, but also our relationships. Any bartender can attest to the aphrodisiac affects of lowering stress through having a drink or two, and this is often the go-to way to socialize and date. Taking adaptogenic herbs can help the body have more moderate and healthy stress responses and also recover from stress more quickly, and by stress I mean all kinds, such as physical, mental, emotional, financial, environmental, relationship, and on and on. It’s no wonder we could use some extra herbal support and rely on alcohol as much as we do! I’m not knocking alcohol by the way, but the more we can do for ourselves on a daily basis that has multiple bonus benefits, then we won’t need alcohol quite so much which has multiple negative side effects.

The herb I was talking about above that I questioned if a teen should take is ashwagandha, and the conclusion I came to was yes, teens can take it. (Though if you have a teen with a high libido already, choose a different adaptogen.) This is an herb traditionally used to balance emotions and moods, improve well-being, reduce stress, improve focus and dispel brain fog. It is often also used in men’s ED herbal products and can increase libido. Ashwagandha should be avoided by those with hyperthryoidism. To learn more about adaptogens, I have a free mini-class about them that you can access through the classes tab on the top of the page.

This is getting to be a rather long read so I might make a video as a companion, but in the meantime I’ll just bullet point other herbs to consider:

For women~ Raspberry leaf is overall reproductive health tonic, as is shatavari which roughly translates to “having many husbands”. Damiana was mentioned above, and having the tea of it with cinnamon can be a great way to try it out.

For men~ Saw Palmetto (remember this was the hot herb for prostate cancer for a while) is an overall sexual health tonic. Gingko Biloba can help with ED. Horny Goat Weed has already been mentioned but bears repeating. Pine has traditionally been used to help with low testosterone.

For everyone~ Eleuthero can strengthen the reproductive system and is another adaptogen. Ginseng is only recommended for adults and in Asian countries it often only given to adults over 60. (I’ve also read over the age of 40 so it depends, I assume, on what country we are talking about.) It is known as a libido and energy enhancer but is not to be taken long term nor by those with high blood pressure. Two months on, one month off, is a traditional way to take it, but listen to your body. Cacao is a relaxing mood booster which is often included in aphrodisiac concoctions.

Essential oils:

The focus should be on what relaxes you and makes you feel good. There are some that are traditional aphrodisiacs, but, just as above where the focus is on stress relief, essential oils can aid in relaxation and help fight anxiety which, let’s face it, is often involved in dating and relationships. The more you can take anxiety out of the equation, the more open you are to your intuition, to the other person, and to the reality of what is taking place. If you are operating in a state of stress and anxiety, you are not going to be your authentic self and will instead be either performing in hopes of being chosen, or so focused on being chosen that you hide your true self and ignore red flags. Being relaxed and in a state of authenticity is how to best connect without losing yourself. Essential oils can help you do that by diffusing them or wearing them as perfume, and I mean all the essential oils. Whatever resonates for you will be supportive to you, and will help you show up ready for the connection in front of you and not creating a false storyline due to stress and anxiety. Notice I said supportive, not a cure-all. If you have chronic anxiety or other mental/emotional issues, please seek the advice of a therapist and/or doctor.

Traditional Aphrodisiac essential oils:

Vanilla, although not a true essential oil, has been rated the number one aphrodisiac scent and is also known as a relaxing scent. I use it by making the base of my perfumes either vanilla extract or vanilla oil, and add vanilla absolute to the oil based perfumes. Rose essential oil is known for supporting all kinds of love and heart chakra health. Jasmine is a scent associated with romance, and the spicy essential oils like cinnamon and nutmeg can indeed add spice to your love life.

Thank you for reading and Happy Lunar New Year too!🐂🎆🎇

Valentine’s Day Herbal Gifts

Homemade gifts made with heart and intention are perfect for the holiday that celebrates love. Valentine’s Day is a warm reminder during this cold season that love should be celebrated fully and joyfully in all its forms, from friendship to family, and of course that special someone. Everyone can appreciate an herbal gift that conveys not only love, but also health, beauty, and green thoughtfulness.

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What plant could be more associated with Valentine’s than the rose? A flower of beauty that signifies love, it also has healing attributes that qualify it as an herb. Drinking rose petal tea is relaxing, due to its mildly sedative properties, and it also has some historical use as a headache reliever. The petals are used extensively for skin health, anti-aging, and beautification, while rose hips are full of bio-available vitamin C. Rose oil makes a lovely base for a massage or bath oil, and bath salts with rose petals would make a relaxing gift that encourages self-care and rejuvenation. Baths full of rose petals are picturesque and you will see plenty on Instagram, but if you don’t want to clean up wet petals after a restful bath, I suggest packing them in a muslin bag. You get all the benefits without worrying about the messy clean-up afterwards. The proportion of salts to rose petals is completely up to you, but if you want to add essential oils to the mixture, keep the essential oils down to about 10-20 drops per cup of mixture. Example: 1 cup Dead Sea Salt, 1/2 cup rose petals, 15 drops of lavender oil, and 10 drops of rose absolute in jojoba. Mix all together in a bowl before adding to a jar with a tight cap for gifting. Don’t forget to add the reusable muslin bag inside the jar, or tie it on the outside. 

Making a rose petal mask is another lovely way to gift roses and encourage self-care. Make a powder from dried rose petals either by using a mortar and pestle or a food processor. I actually use an old coffee grinder for making herbal powders and it works great. Mix the rose powder with either French Green Clay or another clay that suits the skin of your recipient (or yourself if this is a self-love gift) in the proportion of 1/3 rose powder, 2/3 clay. Example: 1 tablespoon rose powder mixed with 2 tablespoons clay. Store in a dark glass jar and mix one tablespoon at a time with either a water, a hydrosol, honey, or yogurt to apply. Actually, adding the powder mix to any of these one ingredient masks will make a multifaceted concoction, and you can choose if you want more of a firming, brightening, or evening out action. Leave on for 10-15 minutes, then rinse off with warm water. Skin will be moisturized, clean, firmer, and more even-toned.

Making a massage oil out of rose oil is as easy as adding the desired essential oils to the homemade rose oil. Aim for no more than 50-60 drops of essential oil per cup of base oil. You can also add in more base oils to the rose oil, so the mixture is more suited to the recipient’s particular skin. The heavier the oil, the more appropriate for dryer skin, and the lighter oils are more beneficial for oilier skin. Massage oil should not soak into the skin but rather allow for easy gliding, so sticking with sweet almond oil, avocado oil, apricot kernel oil, and grapeseed oil are good choices, especially when mixed together. Here’s a sample recipe including the aphrodisiac scents of rose, vanilla, and jasmine:

Massage Oil

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Making Massage Oil
1/2 cup Rose Oil (olive oil infusion)

1/2 cup Vanilla Oil (sweet almond infusion)

1/4 cup Avocado Oil

1/4 cup Apricot Kernel Oil

30 drops Sandalwood absolute in jojoba

40 drops Vanilla CO2 essential oil

5 drops Jasmine absolute in jojoba

 

I hope your Valentine’s day is full of love for your family, your friends, your partner, and yourself. We are experiencing the most snow in most of our lifetimes here in the Seattle region right now so I’ll be herbal crafting away happily this week. I also managed to make my first sourdough loaf this past weekend and it turned out splendidly! There’s a pic on my Instagram if you are interested.

Thank you for reading and Happy Valentine’s Day!