Herbs and Essential Oils for Love

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Happy Valentine’s weekend! If you are snowed in and worried about not having a gift yet, my post about making your gifts might come in handy. Love is a full time preoccupation though so this information is hopefully for the long-term, not just on special occasions. This won’t be a NSFW post btw, it’s more of a look at how health affects our love life, especially our mental/emotional health, and what we can do to help ourselves be healthier. I was thinking along these lines for two reasons, the first being that I wanted to recommend an herb to someone who is still a teenager and I knew that particular herb was also recommended for adult men for sexual health, so I had to do a bit of research to see if it would be a problem. (I’ll give more info about that herb in a moment.) The second reason is because I’m starting to do some marketing around my book about essential oil perfumes and the topic of which essential oils are aphrodisiacs often comes up, especially this time of year. (More on that below as well.)

When it comes to herbs, although there are some recommended for aiding sexual pleasure, such as damiana (more specific to women but either gender can get benefits) and Horny Goat Weed, subtle name, I know, this one is more specific to men but again, both genders can benefit from it. The herbs that are going to provide more long-term sexual health are the ones that are going to work deeply on our stress response, anxiety, and hormones. Which herbs do that? The class of herbs that are adaptogens are the ones that will have the most long-lasting health giving affects in terms of sexual health and I’d argue, even love. Adaptogens, such as ashwagandha, eulthero, and rhodiola work on our endocrine system which houses our organs which make and transport hormones. Hormones are involved with our entire body and are responsible for our stress responses. Most people have heard of cortisol, which is the fight or flight stress hormone that is activated more than ever in our modern world, and most have heard of ‘adrenal fatigue’ from too much stress responders firing at all times. Stress plays a huge role in not only our health, but also our relationships. Any bartender can attest to the aphrodisiac affects of lowering stress through having a drink or two, and this is often the go-to way to socialize and date. Taking adaptogenic herbs can help the body have more moderate and healthy stress responses and also recover from stress more quickly, and by stress I mean all kinds, such as physical, mental, emotional, financial, environmental, relationship, and on and on. It’s no wonder we could use some extra herbal support and rely on alcohol as much as we do! I’m not knocking alcohol by the way, but the more we can do for ourselves on a daily basis that has multiple bonus benefits, then we won’t need alcohol quite so much which has multiple negative side effects.

The herb I was talking about above that I questioned if a teen should take is ashwagandha, and the conclusion I came to was yes, teens can take it. (Though if you have a teen with a high libido already, choose a different adaptogen.) This is an herb traditionally used to balance emotions and moods, improve well-being, reduce stress, improve focus and dispel brain fog. It is often also used in men’s ED herbal products and can increase libido. Ashwagandha should be avoided by those with hyperthryoidism. To learn more about adaptogens, I have a free mini-class about them that you can access through the classes tab on the top of the page.

This is getting to be a rather long read so I might make a video as a companion, but in the meantime I’ll just bullet point other herbs to consider:

For women~ Raspberry leaf is overall reproductive health tonic, as is shatavari which roughly translates to “having many husbands”. Damiana was mentioned above, and having the tea of it with cinnamon can be a great way to try it out.

For men~ Saw Palmetto (remember this was the hot herb for prostate cancer for a while) is an overall sexual health tonic. Gingko Biloba can help with ED. Horny Goat Weed has already been mentioned but bears repeating. Pine has traditionally been used to help with low testosterone.

For everyone~ Eleuthero can strengthen the reproductive system and is another adaptogen. Ginseng is only recommended for adults and in Asian countries it often only given to adults over 60. (I’ve also read over the age of 40 so it depends, I assume, on what country we are talking about.) It is known as a libido and energy enhancer but is not to be taken long term nor by those with high blood pressure. Two months on, one month off, is a traditional way to take it, but listen to your body. Cacao is a relaxing mood booster which is often included in aphrodisiac concoctions.

Essential oils:

The focus should be on what relaxes you and makes you feel good. There are some that are traditional aphrodisiacs, but, just as above where the focus is on stress relief, essential oils can aid in relaxation and help fight anxiety which, let’s face it, is often involved in dating and relationships. The more you can take anxiety out of the equation, the more open you are to your intuition, to the other person, and to the reality of what is taking place. If you are operating in a state of stress and anxiety, you are not going to be your authentic self and will instead be either performing in hopes of being chosen, or so focused on being chosen that you hide your true self and ignore red flags. Being relaxed and in a state of authenticity is how to best connect without losing yourself. Essential oils can help you do that by diffusing them or wearing them as perfume, and I mean all the essential oils. Whatever resonates for you will be supportive to you, and will help you show up ready for the connection in front of you and not creating a false storyline due to stress and anxiety. Notice I said supportive, not a cure-all. If you have chronic anxiety or other mental/emotional issues, please seek the advice of a therapist and/or doctor.

Traditional Aphrodisiac essential oils:

Vanilla, although not a true essential oil, has been rated the number one aphrodisiac scent and is also known as a relaxing scent. I use it by making the base of my perfumes either vanilla extract or vanilla oil, and add vanilla absolute to the oil based perfumes. Rose essential oil is known for supporting all kinds of love and heart chakra health. Jasmine is a scent associated with romance, and the spicy essential oils like cinnamon and nutmeg can indeed add spice to your love life.

Thank you for reading and Happy Lunar New Year too!🐂🎆🎇